In an online survey conducted by Team Regenbogenfamilien of the LSVD+-state association Berlin-Brandenburg e.V., queer parents report burdensome and discriminatory experiences in the stepparent adoption process (PDF). A total of 215 participants from twelve German states took part in the survey.
Nearly one in three respondents reported discriminatory experiences with staff at the youth welfare office, with one in six also experiencing conduct by judges. “The judge, during the course of the discussion, drew a comparison to ‘an Islamist who is also not allowed to adopt’ [made],” one person recalled. “A youth welfare office worker literally said that they unfortunately must support the [stepparent adoption], even though such an adoption would be expected to have negative effects on the child,” another participant said. “We felt like people of second-class status throughout the entire process,” one parent interviewed remarked.
“Can you rule out that you might want to be with men again?”
Intrusive questions also occurred repeatedly. As one example cited in the LSVD+ report: “My wife was asked by the youth welfare office worker during my brief absence whether she could really rule out not wanting to be with men again.”
Nevertheless, 40 percent report having experienced no negative experiences. Just over half of the youth welfare staff were reportedly sympathetic or very sympathetic toward queer couples.
Discrimination in the Law of Descent
The background is the ongoing discrimination against queer couples in the law of descent/parentage, which persists even after the legalization of same-sex marriage. Unlike traditional heterosexual couples, they typically have to go through the stepparent adoption process. This means: if a child is born into the relationship of a women’s couple, under current parentage law only the birth mother is legally recognized as the child’s mother. Her partner must adopt the child to become a legal parent. In contrast, in heterosexual couples the man is always recognized as the father, regardless of whether he fathered the child. The stepparent adoption is a lengthy and costly process — if the birth mother dies before recognition, the child would be left without a parent.
Last year the Bundesrat had already called for equal treatment of two-mother families (TheColu.mn reported). However, this is not part of the black-red coalition agreement.
Federal Justice Minister Stefanie Hubig (SPD) has recently stated that she supports a reform of the law of descent (TheColu.mn reported). The legal-policy spokesperson for the Union faction, CSU politician Susanne Hierl, immediately announced opposition to equal treatment. (dk)
