Young queer people are wrestling with labels like gay or lesbian. This comes from the report “Love Beyond Labels” (PDF) by the dating app Hinge. “After surveying more than 14,000 queer and heterosexual daters from around the world, Hinge’s experts note: many people are tired of having to fit themselves or their dating behavior into fixed categories,” the report states. There is a rising label frustration — that is, dissatisfaction that rigid labels spark restrictive expectations.
According to the data, there are major differences between queer daters from Generation Z — those born between 1997 and 2012 — and the preceding Millennial generation (1981-1996). The findings show that queer Gen Z is 39 percent more willing than queer Millennials to rethink the labels attached to their sexuality when they feel unexpected attraction to someone.
Overall, 37 percent of queer users on Hinge have revised the descriptor for their sexual orientation since they began dating. Gen Z is 22 percent more open to sexual encounters outside their preferred gender and would date people with different gender identities 21 percent more often than Millennials.
Gay men are generally the most steadfast—or the least flexible—group among queer people: fewer than a quarter — 22 percent — reported label frustration. Among lesbians it was 28 percent, among bisexuals 29 percent, and among transgender people 33 percent. Almost half of people who identified as queer have experienced label frustration.
Beware of Overthinking
The study also warns against overthinking, i.e., doubts about one’s own identity when one’s self-definition and desires don’t line up. “Overthinking is one of the biggest hurdles to actually acting on attraction,” the report states. Another issue is that private circles may not accept the change: 60 percent of queer daters have already faced negative reactions when they expressed a change in how they describe themselves.
Hinge therefore advises staying open to change. Podcaster Ricarda Hofmann is quoted: “If I notice today that there’s genuine interest, I try to think less and trust more that the feeling has a reason.” She previously identified as lesbian, but today she prefers to call herself queer. “For me, dating isn’t about what gender someone is anymore, but about how the connection feels,” Hofmann said.
