Each year, even in Germany, about 100 people die in autoerotic accidents, and worldwide the numbers are likely in the thousands. The causes are varied, ranging from risky experiments to using objects that aren’t suited for sexual use.
But what inspires people to ignore obvious dangers when they are sexually aroused? Sexual therapist Krisztian Füredi discusses with Erotik.com the psychological foundations and the deadly role of shame in autoerotic accidents.
The statistic of up to 100 deaths per year in Germany from sexual accidents is alarming. Urologists report patients injuring themselves with vacuum cleaners or inserting various objects into body openings. What extreme or particularly risky cases do you encounter in clinical practice?
Concrete patient stories I cannot share for ethical reasons. What I can say is that the most serious accidents usually don’t stem from especially creative or “extreme” ideas, but from a handful of recurring risk situations. The risk lies less in excess than in routine. Particularly dangerous is experimenting with deliberate manipulation of breathing or oxygen supply. People put themselves into a trance or suffocate themselves with plastic bags, underestimating the danger on a massive scale. The sense of control is often misleading, and it can suddenly lead to unconsciousness, lasting neurological damage, or death. Worldwide, we estimate thousands of such deaths every year. Another recurring pattern is experimenting with objects not intended for sexual use. The list of items doctors must remove from body openings is long and includes vegetables, light bulbs, and even metal parts. Injuries, infections, and internal bleeding are common and frequently recognized too late.
Warum ignorieren Menschen in einem Zustand der Erregung solch offensichtliche Sicherheitsgrenzen?
That is a central question. Sexual arousal is not just a mood, but a distinct state of the nervous system. Attention narrows dramatically, the reward system cranks up, and the sense of urgency rises. Long-term consequences and risks literally fade away in this state. When calm and unaroused, most people dramatically underestimate how much their decisions shift under this emotional and physical arousal. One could say arousal creates a different kind of consciousness in which weighing options and perceiving danger are markedly reduced. If secrecy and shame are added because people believe they cannot discuss their fantasies with anyone, there is no external reality check. All that remains is the pull of arousal.
Welche psychologischen Bedürfnisse treiben solche riskanten Solo-Experimente am häufigsten an?
The motivations are often very ordinary, and it’s not always about sex; it’s frequently about emotion regulation. A key factor is stress relief. Sexual stimulation can quickly reduce tension and give a sense of control. Another is the pursuit of new, intense stimuli. People who react strongly to sensory input tend to push boundaries more easily — especially when daily life feels monotonous or emotionally empty. A third motive is escape, the desire to “exit” the inner noise. High levels of stimulation can temporarily mute ruminating thoughts and worries. That is a highly attractive state, one that people want to sustain and intensify.
Wie stark prägen Pornografie und Social Media das, was als normal oder sicher wahrgenommen wird?
Very strong. Pornography and social media are in a constant competition for attention. More extreme, intense content “performs” better and gains disproportionately more space. This shapes people’s sexual scripts: what one should be able to do, what is considered normal, or even what is dull. A troubling example is that sexual choking has become noticeably common among younger people. In the contexts where they encounter it, the risks aren’t visible. It appears routine and harmless, even though just a brief oxygen deprivation can cause lasting damage or death.
Spielt Scham eine Rolle dabei, ob und wie schnell sich Betroffene nach einem Unfall Hilfe suchen?
A very large and often tragic role. In intimate accidents, many people wait too long, try to solve the problem on their own, or hope it will go away because they fear the reaction of doctors and caregivers. This delay dramatically increases the risk of serious complications. It’s important to emphasize: in healthcare, medical problems are treated, not moral judgments handed down. True self-care means seeking professional help quickly and not staying hidden.
Wann wird das Bedürfnis nach immer intensiveren Reizen zu einem Hinweis auf ein tieferes Problem?
Curiosity and the craving for novelty aren’t inherently problematic. Sexuality evolves over the lifespan. We should look more closely when there is a loss of control and someone continues despite negative consequences or risks. If the behavior dominates life, strains relationships or work, and there is still no change, it can point to a compulsive sexual behavior disorder. Then sex often stops being the goal and becomes merely a tool to regulate anxiety, emptiness, trauma, or chronic stress — and can escalate dangerously.
