Nothing Matters More to Queer People Than Sharing Our Stories

For more than 15 years, the openly gay filmmaker Ryan White has been among the busiest documentary creators around. His films, which he always brings to life with his best friend and production partner Jessica Hargrave, include the Emmy-nominated The Case Against 8, the Netflix series The Keepers, the Critics’ Choice Award-winning Good Night Oppy, and documentaries about Serena Williams, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, and Pamela Anderson, as well as the Apple TV+ series Visible: Out on Television.
Now White presents Come See Me in the Good Light about Andrea Gibson — celebrated in the United States as a poet and activist who died in July 2025 after a long battle with cancer — one of the year’s most moving films (a film review by Fabian Schäfer). We spoke with him about the documentary.

Ryan, zu Ihrem neuen Film “Come See Me in the Good Light” kamen Sie über die Komikerin Tig Notaro, die diese Dokumentation produziert hat, nicht wahr?
Exactly, Tig and I have been friends for 13 or 14 years, and my plan had always been that she would come knocking on my door with a comedy documentary. I wanted to make a genuinely funny film, and I kept nudging her about it. Instead, she eventually approached me with the idea of a film about Andrea Gibson, nonbinary, a poet and activist — and moreover afflicted with an incurable cancer. That didn’t sound very funny at first.

Waren Sie mit Gibsons Werk vertraut?
No, I had never heard of Andrea. And that was partly because I hadn’t engaged much with poetry two years ago. But Tig sent me videos of Andrea’s readings and spoken-word performances. They blew me away. Andrea was so incredibly funny and unbelievably honest and open. Especially in dealing with one’s own mortality. Death was not a topic I was comfortable with. But I was so inspired by Andrea that after Tig’s message I booked a ticket to Colorado to meet Andrea and Andrea’s wife Megan Falley.

Der Film ist einerseits eine Geschichte über die Liebe der beiden, andererseits aber natürlich auch einer über das Sterben. Wie findet man da als Regisseur die richtige Balance?
Ultimately I had to let Andrea guide me. Although it was always clear that there would be no cure and Andrea’s life expectancy had already been exceeded, the two kept saying that they were as happy and in love as they had ever been. That sounded odd, but as soon as you spend time with them, you realize it’s true. This joie de vivre completely changed the concept of our film. We all thought we would follow Andrea with the camera until death. But the longer we filmed, the more I realized that a film about life, not death, was unfolding. That’s why we decided to craft an ending for “Come See Me in the Good Light” before Andrea’s death. And that Andrea even got to witness the world premiere of the film at the Sundance Film Festival was an incredible gift.

Glauben Sie, dass es bei diesem Film wichtig war, dass er von jemandem gedreht wurde, der selbst Teil der LGBTI-Community ist?
One of the most wonderful, powerful aspects of documentary work is the opportunity to bring audiences into the lives and homes of people they might never meet otherwise. No matter what someone knows or thinks about the queer community — after 90 minutes with a couple like Andrea and Meg — there will be no one left untouched by them and their love. That’s why I would always say that for us queers there is nothing more important than sharing our stories and reaching other people. And yet I would say that neither my queerness nor Andrea’s and Meg’s was the decisive factor here.

Warum nicht?
What drew me to Andrea wasn’t the queerness or the nonbinary identity. Like with every one of my films, I only wanted to know that this person’s story has the potential to touch a large audience. Andrea kept saying: Cancer is completely nonpartisan. And accordingly I knew that many people could relate to this issue, regardless of how much or how little their lives otherwise aligned with Andrea’s.

Frühere Ihrer Filme handelten unter anderem von Pamela Anderson oder Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Gibt es etwas, das allen Ihren Arbeiten gemeinsam ist?
Not really. If you set aside that I tend to seek out people who have experienced something remarkable and invite them to spend a few years with me, the only real common thread is that I have never directed a film with a male lead. Even “Good Night Oppy” was about a female robot.

Eine letzte, vielleicht kitschige Frage noch zu “Come See Me in the Good Light”: was haben Sie selbst aus der Begegnung mit Andrea mitgenommen und gelernt?
In the context of this film, nothing is really too sentimental — and I say that as someone who two years ago would have dodged anything that tipped toward sentimentality. Andrea was as open to sentimentality in poetry as in life, and I can’t overstate how much working on this film and meeting Andrea changed me into a new person. I could go on for half an hour listing how I was transformed by sharing in Andrea and Megan’s life for a while.

Vielleicht geben Sie zumindest ein kleines Beispiel?
Here goes! Sharing in their relationship made me rethink my own relationship with my husband — and with other loved ones in my life — because I saw how consciously Andrea approaches every interaction. At the same time, I learned from Andrea that while time flies and life is short, you can still get a tremendous amount out of the time we have on earth. Both in the smallest moments and in the biggest ones. I’m actually a true workaholic and love my job, but Andrea constantly challenged me. Why this ambition, what are you working toward? From now on, I want to try to be a little less productive and spend a bit more time with the people I love.