From Sober Activism to a Debut Novel: Ekaterina Feuereisen

Checking yourself into a psychiatric clinic is a bold step — one that stigmas, taboos, and perhaps even emotional overtones from your inner circle can make feel heavier. That is precisely what Ekaterina Feuereisen talks about on her Instagram channel, and she does so in a tone that feels supportive rather than sulking. In her debut novel, “Inventur der Erinnerungen” (Inventory of Memories), she now addresses the serious tones surrounding mental health.

As a mental-health and sober-activation advocate, author Ekaterina Feuereisen, together with comedian Jacky Feldmann, shares recipes for alcohol-free drinks, writes openly about alcohol abuse, depression, and borderline personality disorder, and encourages her followers to seek help. In her bio she tracks the days since she last drank, which is motivating! She also notes with impressive precision how alcohol consumption is often used to regulate psychological and physical tension.

Sobriety as a self-directed act of care

Interestingly, the so-called sober activism itself grew out of social media: originally rooted in the United States and the United Kingdom, it was shaped by writers, therapists, and people who publicly shared their experiences with sobriety as a counter-narrative to a society that normalizes drinking. It’s no secret that the queer community played a major role in the movement’s success. And in Germany, sober parties are thriving thanks to queer-scene clubs like SchwuZ in Berlin.

Feuereisen carries this approach into the German-speaking online space, where she presents sobriety as a self-determined act of care. By showcasing alternative paths such as sports and painting, she helps bring taboo topics into public discourse in fresh tones — tones that are needed to lower the emotional barriers to seeking psychological help.

Debut novel about depression and a drug-addicted mother

Against this backdrop, her Haymon Verlag-published novel “Inventur der Erinnerungen” (Amazon Affiliate Link) reads almost as a counterpoint to that vision. It tells, without romance, the story of a young woman who lives with depression while bearing the emotional strain of a drug-addicted mother. In the midst of longing for closeness and the impulse to set boundaries, she fights to maintain her own balance. This inner conflict unfolds on the stage of her relationship with her partner Elif.

Right from the opening pages, past and present blur. While the plot mainly unfolds between 2017 and 2019, the “Inventory of Memories” condenses into flashbacks to the protagonist’s own childhood, producing overlapping traces. This weaving of inner world and external reality is a motif Feuereisen has practiced even before her literary debut — and she here renders it with striking intensity.

Torn by dependency and manipulation, the mother repeatedly drags the protagonist back into old dynamics, in which she is asked to shoulder responsibility for her. Even the younger sister stacks additional pressure with a longing for harmony. This inner struggle between seeking safety and drawing boundaries increasingly transfers onto the protagonist’s lesbian relationship: from deep affection and longing, the weight of psychological strain triggers growing anger, misunderstandings, and unspoken needs. Closeness becomes a risk, and communication a test of endurance.

The difference between refuge and flight

The protagonist eventually seeks refuge in Berlin’s nightlife, in the neighborhood bar where a good friend works. Yet that supposedly safe place carries a bitter aftertaste: the safe harbor of the community also doubles as a loophole to escape into drink. Feuereisen renders Berlin settings — Friedrichshain, Warschauer Straße, and the “Dachkammer” just off Boxhagener Platz — with such vividness that the boundary between reality and fiction begins to blur.

“Inventur der Erinnerungen” is Feuereisen’s poetically dark debut about mental illness, family imprint, and the path to self-care. Those who follow her on social media will recognize not only the stance between the lines: the conviction that alcohol abuse is a destructive regulation process that can be replaced with new patterns — but that it requires compassionate impulses to make that shift possible.