Kristofer Layon gives Katherine Kersten a run for her money in the absurdity contest in the Strib, but Kersten still wins, because that was Layon’s point. If southpaws achieve equality, will it ruin our right-handed culture, a culture that has existed for thousands of years?

“How would left-handed marriage hurt your marriage?” Advocates of changing our marriage laws tell us this is an unanswerable question… Right-handedness is a nearly universal human institution. Across the world and throughout history, marriage has been almost exclusively right-handed. That’s not because of anti-left-handed bigotry, but because marriage is anchored in a primal biological and social fact: Most people are right-handed, and tend to have right-handed children.

As a right-hander, I can say I oppose special rights for southpaws. If you can’t learn to use right-handed scissors, then you probably shouldn’t get married.