University of Minnesota law professor Dale Carpenter attended Drinking Liberally last week to talk about the upcoming anti-gay marriage amendment and how to talk to family and friends over the Thanksgiving dinner table about marriage equality.

Carpenter said calling people who plan to vote for the amendment a “bigot” is not an effective way to communicate on the amendment. And he said that framing the issue as one of civil rights is not an effective strategy either.

The questions to ask, he said, is “Why did you get married?” and respond that those are the reasons that same-sex couples want to marry. For example, starting a family, having someone there for life, and on their deathbed.

And to Republican and libertarian family and friends, a good question to ask is: “How does this amendment advance individual freedom?

Photographer Craig Stellmacher captured Carpenter’s remarks: